The Misguided Life of a Cancer
by ZillaNilla
Summary: Karkat transfers to a new school, only to be involuntarily stuck to the John Egbert kid. Man, this kid just won't give up. Humanstuck, KarkatxJohn. T for language.


The only thing I could hear were the sound of my footsteps and cars passing me by. My red backpack heavy against my shoulder. My name is Karkat Vantas, I'm a freshman, and I'm the new kid at Hussie High School.

I go into the attendance office for my schedule. The lady, an old hag with a face too wrinkled to belong to a human, glowered at me from behind a pound of makeup. "Mr. Vantas?" I nodded. "Here's your schedule. Your guide, Mr. Egbert, will be here shortly." I rolled my eyes and sat in a chair, tapping my foot, purposely to annoy the fucking life outta the hag, and looked through my schedule. Biology, Algebra, Art- CHOIR? I'M IN THE FUCKING CHOIR. WHAT. HOLD THE FUCK UP. WHAT IS THIS SHIT?

Soon enough, a bouncy ball of energy popped up beside me. He introduced himself as John and we started off. The brunette could not stop talking about his schedule. He constantly asked about my classes, but I refused to reveal any information. He shrugged, and quickly showed me to my locker. A quick "Thanks" was given, and I almost regretted it the moment I let it slip through my lips. The boy was grinning like a fucking Cheshire cat. Gog, that smile. It's almost...Beautiful. No. Fuck. It's irritating.

John led me to my first class, Biology, and beamed when he saw some blonde guy had saved him a seat. He went up ahead and sat in the reserved seat as I went to the teacher's desk. "Mr. Vantas, correct?" I'm getting so fucking tired of the mister. If I hear it again, I will punch that stupid blonde guy(whoever he is) in the face. "Yeah. Karkat," John smiled and mumbled a "Beep, beep, meow." He was still laughing about my name. Our trip to Biology was even delayed a full fucking three minutes because he was laughing so hard. Whatever. I was given the seat next to some nooksucker with 3-D glasses and a dark brown hair named Sollux Captor. If I heard the whispers and mumbles correctly, apparently some girlfriend, Aradouchebag or whatever sat here before dying. What a fucking delight.

I looked over at the earlier mentioned nooksucker. "Shouldn't you be getting in trouble for those glasses?"

He just rolled his eyes, I think. He tapped at the textbook on his desk, and I realized I was the only one without one. "Mr. Vantas, please share with Mr. Captor, so you can follow along." I inwardly screamed at myself for deciding that it was okay to move, and scoot over so I can see the boring text. Sollux doesn't seem like a talkative guy. Maybe it won't be so bad. Well, maybe until I notice a certain blue eyed boy staring at me from across the classroom. Those eyes are so blue. I almost can't turn away. No! Pay attention to the work. Do the work, Karkat. Don't pay attention to the slightly attractive brunette. Just.. Do.. The work...

The work was on sexual reproduction. Great. Just what I fucking need. I did the questons easily. We already studied this shit at my old school. When I was finished, I tapped my pencil on the desk and began to doodle on a seperate sheet of paper. I completely lost my thoughts in the drawng, only diverting my attention to turn in the worksheet when the teacher came around to pick them up. I looked down and realized what I'd drawn. A blue eyed beauty. Gog fucking damn it this better not be love. Sollux had a smirk on his face. "Lookth like thomebody hath a cruth."

"Shut the hell up,fuck ass." And thus, a stupid stereotypical high school "Friendship" was born.

I still don't really understand how anything came about after that. John ran off after class with that blondie, but Sollux and I stayed behind a bit, talking. He told me the story of John and the blond, who Sollux called Dave. John was apparently dating the piece of shit. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I couldn't compare to that. That's like.. Trying to win the lottery. A once in a lifetime chance. And the odds were not in my favor. That prick was so impeccable that there's probably no way to beat him. I couldn't beat the system. I knew it. It was in for me from day one. Fuck.

I stared at the ground a little. More in thought than in sadnss. "So, where's the fucking Art room at?" I asked. Sollux was looking in some other directon. The nooksucker. I got up and went to find it myself. The school couldn't be /that/ fucking big, right? Wrong. I was lost within the minute before bumping into some chick with red glasses and a cane. What the hell? Who the fucking hell uses a cane unles they're bli- Oh. Shit

Well fuck. The girl was blind. I kind of felt bad for running into her like that but... Ah well. She couldn't see me, maybe she would just think it was a fucking wall. I began to walk away when I heard a sound. Like someone's sniffing. I turned around, and saw the girl, following me. She wasn't even using her cane. Just following whatever scent she's caught. Like a hound dog.

"Excuse me? Can I fucking help you?"

face. How did she even-"I have a keen sense of smell and taste. I could find you even if you were in the attic of a nearby house." She laughed. "I'm Terezi. Now if you don't mind, justice must be served. Pay up."

"Well what do you want me to fucking do, walk you to class? I'm not doing you any shitty favors. I dunno shit about this fucking hellhole anyways." Terezi tapped my ankle with her cane. "Where ya headed, buddy? If we have the same class, you'll pay up there." She let out a cackle. Not one of those cutesy ones. Like one you would hear from a fucking Halloween witch about to cook you into soup. "It's art, fuckass." "Hah! I knew I would definitely have a class with someone lke you! Lead the way!" Another cackle and we were off; her doing more of the leading than following.

I followed the blind girl, whatever she said her name was. Terezo, Kereza, I don't even know. She lead me to a large art room covered in brightly painted canvases, extravagant draperies and interesting sculptures. It was hard to tell what any of the fuckasses were trying to make, sometimes. I just hoped that boy wasn't in here. I didn't think I could deal with those blue eyes. I scanned the room. Great. He wasn't there. Well, I mean.. Fuck.. I couldn't stare at the cerulean blue orbs as the light makes them shimmer and shin- I mean, yeah. Glad he wasn't there. No special brunette boy to stare at me. He was dating that blond guy anyways. What was his name? Diane? Fuck. No. I don't even care.

Speaking of which, I saw Mr. Fucking Diane just sitting there. Whether or not he was staring at me, I had no way of telling because of his lame ass shades. I stared back and almost fell out of my chair when some girl, with long black hair came up behind him and kissed his cheek. That douchebag was cheating on John. "What are you geting so worked up about? Everyone knows Dave's a player." the blind girl spoke bad about him, but it was obvious from her expression that she cared about him. I frowned and just listened to the lesson, glaring at Dave every so often.

When the bell rang, I ran out like a bat out of hell. I did not want to be stuck with the blind girl, and I did not want to confront Dave. I just hope neither followed me. Seems likeable that Karezi, or whatever her name was, would follow me. I doubted Dave would. I guess that's why I was surprised when I turned a corner and was face to face with said blonde. He was tall, at least, taller than me. His face seemed perfectly sculpted and just utter genius. If only he wasn't wearing the fucking sunglasses. Such a nooksucker for wearing them. His torso seemed to be in rather nice conditions, from what I could see through the t-shirt.

"Done admiring yet, kitty?"

I glared up at him. "What's it to ya?" I tried to walk around the douchebag, but he sidestepped, staying in front of me. "I saw you staring at my boyfriend. What, you gonna try to give me shit for bein' gay?" I scoffed as if I didn't see him macking on some hoe right in class or knew that he was cheating. I bit my lip. Remember what dad said. No fights at this school. "No." was all I said before running- no, /sprinting/ to Algebra. I bumped into someone- again - and looked rght up into those damned beautiful blue eyes. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

"I can't fucking get away from you, can I?" I yelled. "Everywhere I go, it's either you or your goddamn 'boyfriend!' It's only been two periods!" I ran around him, quickly grabbed my textbook from my locker, and headed to Algebra. I may be upset, but I don't want to be late. The teacher seemed nice. He noticed the clog in my throat, and didn't force me to solve any questions. I didn't know any of it anyways. I didn't mind thinking about it though. Anything to get that perfect face, those bulky glasses, those plump lips, and, oh gog, those blue eyes, out of my mind. Nothing's working though.

I looked up just to see the board, to find Sollux staring directly at me. I cocked an eyebrow and he immediately looked back down at his notes. I shrugged and looked down. We soon finished the notes and spent the last ten minutes of class in free time. Sollux came over and sat in the seat beside me. "I heard you pithed off Thtrider." Shit. "He wantth to fight you, y'know." Shit. "He alwayth bringth back up to fightth, too." Fucking shit

God fucking damn it. I can't do anything right, can I? No, I fucking can't. I kept making mistakes. Only rookies make mistakes. I was not a rookie. I had been through this before. I knew the waters, I didn't need to test them. So why did I keep fucking everything up? I promised no fights. I pissed someone off. Shit. Fucking shit. I should've done the smart thing and told John about Dave and taken John for protection. Certainly Dave wouldn't hurt him. But no, I had to be stupid and run passed him, too scared of my own emotions to even recognize the sight of danger.

As soon as the bell rang, I scurried out. Last class of the day. Uhh.. French? Yeah, french. Hopefully Egbert's too derpy for speaking french. Oop- nevermind. Look at me. Jinxing every single fucking class. At least Dave's not in this class. I sat in the back, as far away from John as possible and avoided all eye contact. But since the bell hadn't rung, we didn't have to be in our seats. John came up to me, frowning confused."Um, Karkat? Do you have a problem with me of some sort?"

"Have a problem with you?" I laughed nervously. "Why would I have a problem with you? You haven't done anything!" Other than entrance me with those beautiful eyes. "John, I don't have a problem with you. I just don't know you. I know more about Dave than I know you." Like the fact that he's using you. John, I'm so sorry. I want to tell you so badly. FUCK. What the hell is wrong with me? God fucking damn it. No. Fuck. I don't know. I wish I didn't have to deal with this.

John gave me a skeptical look and was about to say something, when the bell rang for class to begin. Thank- Merci fucking gog. He went to his seat and I spent all class doodling and/or staring into space. I didn't snap out of it until someone tapped on my shoulder. "Hey,Vantas." was whispered by the guy beside me and handed me a note. "Egbert wanted me to pass this to you." Great.

I set the note underneath my textbook. I may not want to talk to him, but I'm not going to get him in trouble. I quietly unfolded the paper, and pretended to follow the text in the book while reading it. 'is something wrong? ):'

No, nothing's wrong. Nothing at all. I have no problem. Why would anything be wrong? Fuck. Don't push it, Karkat. Don't. Ignore it. Put the note away. Fuck. Gog fucking DAMN IT.

French was over in a breeze and school was then over. I was going to try to beeline out of the classroom and go home, but a certain blonde was already there. In my way. John was off to the side, looking worriedat what might happen between his boyfriend and new friend. I gulped. "Hey, ginger. What they say about your kind having no soul? Must be true; you upset John." A frown crossed Dave's face. It was the most emotion I had seen on his face all day.

"I, I didn't mean to..." I frown, looking past the blonde to the brunette. "John.. Did I really upset you?" Fuck. FUCK ME. Oh my GOG, what the fuck is wrong with me? I can't fucking get that nooksucking fuckass John out of my fucking head. Gog damn it..

John nodded, and looked away slightly with the fucking saddest expression I've ever seen. Dave grabbed my collar and raised a fist. John gave a sad look that read "I'm sorry this is happening". I shut my eyes and waited for the punch that never came. I opened my eyes to see that someone had grabbed Dave's arm and stoppedhimfrom beating the shit out of me. I saw those familiar 3-D glasses, angry eyes behind them. "Let go of him or I'll be forthed to beat the living fuck out of you. Back off. It'th only hith firtht day." The blonde shoved me away and turned to Sollux. Only then did John stop him and calm him down.

I dont think "grateful" was the right word to use when speaking of Sollux's appearance. My nose wouldn't have be working properly if he hadn't show up, more than likely. Fuck, that was...

WHAT THE FUCK. I COULD'VE TAKEN CARE O THAT MY FUCKING SELF. OH GOG. NOW DAVE'S GONNA THINK I'M A NOOKSUCKER. GOG FUCKING DAMN IT. SHIT. UH. WELL..I guessed staring at the blond isn't really going to help. Damn. I looked at John, who was calming the blonde. Shit. I turned to Sollux, and silently strode away, ignoring the fact that I wanted to stay.

The whole walk home, I kept my head down, and ignored anyone whom called my name. Which was no one. Getting home, my dad passed out on the couch, drunk, and I ran to my room. I laid on my bed and stared at my ceiling. Fuck. How would I get out of this shit? How would I last the rest of the year here, if this as my fucking first day?


End file.
